Notes

Man: So tell me Mr. McGowan, how do you feel?

Lloyd: How do I feel?

Man: Yes, in simple terms. Tell me how you're feeling.

Lloyd: You a doctor?

Man: No.

Lloyd: Will you help me?

Man: Mr. McGowan, I need you to...

Lloyd: Look! I'm, I'm scared. I, I don't know where I am. The the lady at the door she took everything. She took my mother.

Man: Your mother went home.

Lloyd: No she didn't! She wouldn't do that! She got taken! The lady took her. I know it. Wha Where did she take her to? Let let me talk to that lady. I want to find out where she took my Mother.  What what are these?!

*chains rattle

Man: Those are to just to keep you in the chair. Please calm down.

Lloyd: Tell me what's going on. Maybe. Wha Where am I?

Man: Your new home.

Lloyd: Ah ha!

Man: What is it?

Lloyd: If this is home, then where's my mother? You said she went home. But you also said this is. I got I got you doc.

Man: I'm I'm not a doctor.

Lloyd: Well you look big for a doctor. I think you're right. You know what? I can take you. Maybe a doctor would fix you up.

*chains rattle

Lloyd: Hey! These things are hurting my wrist bud! Hey what am I supposed to call you when I'm busting you up for keeping me in here?!

Man: You have no reason to hurt me. I'm here to help.

Lloyd: In a pig's ass!

Man: You have to trust me Mr. McGowan. We're here to help you.

Lloyd: Wha what was that? Wh Who's there?!

Man: No one's there. I promise.

*tape stops and break in recording - time seems to be on another day

Man: Well Lloyd, you've certainly gone and gotten yourself into real trouble this time.

Lloyd: (drugged and slurring) I've never been.

Man: Do you hear me Lloyd?

Lloyd: (drugged and slurring) I hear it's sunny this time of year.

Man: They're sending you to the far wing. East ancillary. The 300's?

Lloyd: (either saying:) (drugged and slurring) Oh thing or the whole thing. I never been. He he went.

Man: Do you know why you're going to the EA?

Lloyd: (drugged) He he tried to go, he he tried but he didn't make it.

Man: Jesus Christ! What have they got you on Lloyd, huh?

Lloyd: (drugged) gone jungle. Pilot fell in the jungle. Gone.

Man: Yeah well, you're going to be gone for a while too. You killed that girl right?

Lloyd: (drugged) hmm gone gone gone

Man: Lloyd I need you to listen to me. Tell me you killed that girl.

Lloyd: (drugged) He is the crazy statue there. That was too far. Too far. Couldn't do it.

Man: I'll ask you plainly. Lloyd McGowan, did. You. Murder. That. Girl? Don't say no. (rushed)

Lloyd: (drugged) The ferns are red now (laughs)

Man: Atta boy.

*recording stops and seems to be 30 years later. Lloyd is coherent again.

Lloyd: (coherent, bright, inquisitive) What's going on bud? Things seem scarce around here. Is it spring-cleaning already?

Man: We're transferring you Lloyd. You and most of the other patients.

Lloyd: Transfer?

Man: Yes, to another institution.

Lloyd: What? Like Buffalo or something?

Man: Not quite. We reached an agreement with a small facility in Maryland. Um, Darlington Maryland. How do you feel about this?

Lloyd: Oh I bet it's darling.

Man: Are you afraid?

Lloyd: I don't know what afraid is anymore! I, I don't even know what feel is anymore.

Man: Try to tell me.

Lloyd: Look if I feel anything, it's this: I feel like I've been asleep for the past 30 years and I still can't wake up! I feel like you've been selling me lies! I feel like my mother died before I could ever say good-bye and my pappy probably out lived her cuz that's exactly the kind of asshole he was.

Man: You're handling this well.

Lloyd: Yeah you're a funny guy bud. I'll tell you what, you finally get around to telling me what my deal is and I won't beat the shit out of you as soon as they let me go.

Man: I guess it can't hurt now.

Lloyd: Oh it still could. Believe me!

Man: I see your point. Lloyd, you were a threat to your family. That's why your mother dropped you off here. She was afraid.

Lloyd: She was afraid of my father!

Man: She was afraid of you.

Lloyd: In a pig's ass she was afraid of me! I was her boy! Her baby boy!

Man: Relax please, Lloyd.

Lloyd: What else you gonna pull out of that backward noggin of yours huh? And tell me, tell me something real good.

Man: 30 years ago, you committed a murder.

Lloyd: What?!

Man: That's why you can't place the past few years. You've been medicated and isolated for a majority of that time.

Lloyd: I ain't never killed nobody! I ain't my father!

Man: There was a young woman with anterograde amnesia, do you remember her?

Lloyd: Well I, I, I don't know. May Maybe. Wha What are you talking about? I ain't killed nobody.

Man: Do you remember? She was also a patient of Dr. Richter's.

Lloyd: Richter? Yeah, that guy. I remember that guy.

Man: And the young woman?

Lloyd: I, I think so. Rachael? Uh Beatrice? I don't remember her name. Uh what was it? I didn't kill her!

Man: You yourself admit your memory is missing pieces.

Lloyd: I think I'd know if I did that!

Man: Would you now?

*chains rattle

Lloyd gets agitated and angry and rattles chains

Lloyd: You've got some nerve! You're trying to mess me up and get in my head and you can't! Get out! You you wake me up from a dream and all my heroes are dead!

* recording stops